mamasaysmine

Expressionery.com is one of my absolute favorite places to get things for people who have everything… because who doesn’t love custom stationary?

For a baby shower, give thank you notes with little cartoon proud parents.

For a wedding, thank you notes with a happy bride and groom.

For anybody, anytime, notecards with a character for the whole family (pets included).

For the crafty among us, custom kitchen stamps.

What’s not to love?

Use code “mslaug” at checkout to receive 40% off your order through November 4, 2009.

Batteries! That you can recharge with your USB port!

The gift that keeps on giving, and saves the environment too!

I know, I know, a totally bizarre and geeky gift, but trust me, the hubs will love them.

Have a nerdy husband who goes through batteries like they’re going out of style? Get your own here<.

Oh my oh my oh my. 

Although I generally insist on only buying gifts from the registry, this could be an exception.

Bowen Birdhouses will build a custom birdhouse for you off of a photo that you upload. How easy and cool is that?

Click here for details, and pick up one for me while you’re at it.

As a mom, I’m partial to handmade gifts from my daughter and gifts in small, robin’s egg blue boxes from my husband.  Sure, Hurricane Eva would rather be water boarded than make crafts most days and the economy really puts a damper on the high-end gift shopping, but a girl can dream, right? 

Just in time for Mother’s Day, Tiffany & Company is offering free shipping on orders of $150 or more.  Just shop before midnight on Friday, May 8.

There’s always lots of chatter on blogs about special wedding gifts, and I’m taking part in that myself this week.

But before I do, I have to ask, what the heck is wrong with the registry?

If you’ve ever shopped for my father, you would appreciate the luxury of someone telling you EXACTLY what they want, down to colors and sizes.

Why don’t people just buy gifts off of the registry?

I’ve encountered a couple of reasons:

1. You don’t like gift registries. I can understand this for things like graduations (really? a registry for a graduation? that IS a bit much, I’ll admit). But for weddings and baby showers, get over it and shop off of the registry.

2. You don’t like anything the couple has registered for. I get this, I really do. It’s happened to me. Crazy as it may be, I prefer to give gifts that I actually like. HOWEVER, if you find yourself in this situation, repeat: “This is not for me. This is not for me.”

3. The store isn’t local. I can almost guarantee that the store has a website. And you’re shipping the gift anyway, right? So just buy it online. (if the couple registered at a little boutique store with no website, you’re officially off the hook)

4. You don’t want them to know how much you spent. Ok, fine. I get that the amount you spend on a wedding gift is political in certain circles (particularly among my mother-in-law’s set, where they all try and give gifts of the same amount, without just talking about it and agreeing on an amount. seriously, it gives me a headache.). If your friends are going to think less of you because of what you spent on a wedding gift, you have friendship issues that this post cannot solve.

5. You can’t afford anything on the registry. This has happened to me too, especially in college. (I’ll never forget a friend’s registry, where an $80 shower curtain was one of the cheapest things left by the time I arrived at the store.) There’s no need to get into debt over a wedding gift - just get the couple a gift card to the store where they’ve registered. They’ll appreciate it.

6. You’ve found something off of the registry cheaper somewhere else. This one is tricky. If it is EXACTLY the same AND you are comfortable telling the bride or groom what you’ve done, go ahead. Otherwise, they may end up with multiple items that they now have to return (and, in case you haven’t noticed, stores’ return policies are uber-strict these days) or an item that isn’t what they want. For one of my baby showers, someone gave me a baby carrier that was similar to, but not the same as, the one I’d registered for. The thing is, I had done an insane amount of research on which carrier would be best for me and my neck injury, and there was only one that fit the bill.

Must I repeat myself? USE THE REGISTRY. Make everyone’s life easier.

I am a firm believer in the simple fact that if you go to someone’s wedding, you bring a gift.

If you’re invited to the wedding and don’t go, you get to pick.  (I always send a gift, personally.  If I ever thought someone had invited me because they were “fishing” for a gift, I would seriously rethink that relationship.)

If you’ve ever gotten married, you know that weddings are expensive, even when you do it on the cheap.  Not only that, but people often have a limited number of guests they can invite, so the simple fact that you “made the cut” is worthy of a little token of your appreciation, I think.

Now, here’s the kicker.

For the wedding I’m headed off to next week?  Not bringing a gift.

First, my friends have specifically asked all of us who are traveling to the wedding NOT to give a gift (the gift of our presence meaning more than any presents we could give, etc.).

Second, I’m flying out early to help with preparations, so I have kind of convinced myself that that’s kind of a gift.

Third, these friends have lived together for years, and on their own for years before that. They already have their household set up and have clearly stated that they don’t want more “stuff.”

While this is a little painful for my Ms. Manners side, I think it’s incredibly classy on my friends’ part. We’re all a group of young families, so the cost of travel is significant, and they realize that.

HOWEVER, unless you have friends who have asked you not to bring a gift, SEND SOMETHING. (don’t bring it to the wedding. Gifts get stolen all the time, cards get separated from packages and the bride and groom have to haul everything around when they have more important things to deal with. Send a gift before or after the wedding.)

and, p.s. FROM THE REGISTRY.