mamasaysmine

One of the things that’s been driving me a little crazy about blogging lately is that it seems like everything’s been done. Have a great idea for a post? Done. Got a special deal? Done. Even giveaways all seem to run together. And don’t get me started on free samples.

Sometimes I look at other blog posts and think that I could say it better or that I have a unique “take” on a topic.

But sometimes, somebody else just says it exactly right.

Like this post from Cecily about some of the (truly terrible) criticism she’s gotten from her blog posts.

She’s exactly right - blogging may always straddle the fence between a soapbox and a dialogue, but when people say hateful things they’re not providing feedback. They’re being hateful, and a normal response is to feel hurt.

So play nice on the internet, people. None of us are perfect, and all of us have a lot to learn.

So I took the summer off, unintentionally.

And then Labor Day came and went, and now it’s almost October.

I know a lot of bloggers take the summer off and spend it romping through fields with their children. I’ll be honest here. I didn’t do that.

Two things made me avoid my blog.

One: I spent the late winter, spring and summer trying to get pregnant.

Unsuccessfully.

And now I’m spending the fall doing the same thing.

While I realize that a) this happens to tons of people and b) medical advice is that it can take up to a year for normal, healthy people to conceive, this whole thing has been surprising because I got pregnant with my first child pretty much instantly.

While there’s a whole amazing network of people struggling with secondary infertility online (don’t believe me? go here.), this is a club that I frankly don’t want to be in. I’m not at the point where I’m on fertility drugs (doctor’s appointment Monday, so that may change), and I don’t really want this blog to become a list of me talking about trying to get pregnant and not being pregnant.

And yet, there’s been little else on my mind.

So, that was part of the blogging break.

The second part is totally blog-related. In my vulnerable, non-knocked up state, I’ve been overly sensitive to some of the internet hate out there. What to even focus on first?

* Mommybloggers vs. every other blogger out there?

* BlogHer 09 - I didn’t go, so I was both jealous and appalled by all the swag and crazy antics (threatening to give someone bad press if they don’t give you a free pair of Crocs? really? have you SEEN Crocs? I love them, but dude.)

* Controversy about bloggers (particularly Mommybloggers, but seriously, this applies to all bloggers) accepting items to review and not disclosing that they are freebies or that they’re being paid to write a review. Holy crap. The lack of honest reviews in the blogosphere makes my head spin. And OF COURSE getting a free product means you’re accepting a form of payment. Really, the fact that this is a controversy makes my head explode.

* Even Twitter is irritating me. People follow you, then stop when you follow them, in some bizarre attempt to gain followers. It’s like the internet version of high school.

And on and on. Did you know there are sites set up to just talk shit about other bloggers?

So I needed a break.

But I think I want to re-commit. Maybe.

I think the concept behind Mr. Linky is awesome - a way for people to link to specific posts.  I use it whenever I can to publicize my giveaways and share blog posts on a specific topic.  And for that, it is awesome.

When it works.

And it frequently hasn’t been, at least for me.  So when I read MckMama’s blog post about the new linky system she developed (you know, when she wasn’t caring for her FOUR children, one of whom has a major medical condition, because if someone has spare time, it’s her) called… wait for it… MckLinky. Cute, no?

I haven’t had a chance (read: a reason) to try out MckLinky, but judging from what I can tell, it seems pretty cool (and it works, which is always important). Go to the MckLinky site here and check out MckMama’s blog here.

I had originally planned to NOT discuss Michael Jackson here, as this is not, after all, an entertainment blog. Or one where I share my memories of childhood. Or even one where I really discuss social issues, although those creep in from time to time, because I am, after all a social worker.

Which is not to imply that there isn’t much to be said. Example: I had no idea that MTV only played videos by white artists until “Billie Jean” hit the airwaves. (seriously? insane.)

It’s one of the ways we can divide ourselves by age without getting into real numbers: do you remember when you could just LOVE Michael Jackson… before he went nuts? (and, frankly, before his music started to slide too?)

Here’s what I want to talk about: his mother is filing for custody of his children. (allegedly)

Here’s what freaks me out: clearly, this woman was incapable of protecting Michael from whatever made him the way he was. (whether that’s beatings on the part of his father, His children have already lived remarkably strange lives. Is she really the best option for them?

Is the woman he was married to, who signed away custody, a better choice?

Was he at all capable of making informed decisions for his children?

Really, the mind boggles.

Confession: I do not watch John & Kate Plus 8.

Confession: I didn’t even watch last night’s episode.

Reality: I can’t escape the drama. They’re everywhere, invading my trashy celebrity magazines, all over the interwebs and on my mind.

Here’s the thing. Announcing your divorce on television is tacky. I don’t care how many people “care” and want to know. I’m thoroughly disgusted with John, Kate and TLC. Again, WHO ANNOUNCES THEIR DIVORCE ON TELEVISION???

And this “for the kids” line should be believed by no one. You want to do something for the kids? Stand up to whoever told you it would be a good idea to announce your divorce on camera. And then do that stupid stunt where you file the day the episode airs.

(want a great recap of the episode? go here.)

Now, I’m off to watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Special (part 1 of 2). Because I have standards.

I got a comment last week (thank you thank you thank you - I do so love comments) suggesting that I post the winners of the giveaways. 

Do people really want this? Here’s my rationale for not doing so: I get really irritated with sites who require that you come back and see if you’re a winner. I like to enter giveaways for two reasons: one, to win free stuff and two, to explore new blogs. If I don’t like your blog, I’m not going to come back, and that’s ok, right? You want a blog leadership that actually wants to read what you’re writing, right? So, I don’t have any requirement like that on my giveaways.

The other reason is because today.com sometimes closes my posts before the giveaway is over, meaning I can’t go back and edit them (for example, to write on the original post, “Giveaway now closed, congratulations Becky on your win!”), which is how I’d prefer to announce the winners.

I really don’t love the idea of creating a separate post for giveaway winners, although I’ve certainly done it before and it isn’t such a big deal (just kind of seems like a “whatever” post). BUT, if I hear from more readers that you want to know who’s winning, I’ll absolutely post winners.

I’m just that kind of gal.

I’ve taken some much-needed time away from the computer over the past couple of weeks, partially by choice, partially because we were staying with my mother-in-law and her computer was on the fritz, and partially because of stormy weather knocking out my own internet for awhile. 

Here’s the thing:  it wasn’t too bad.

I’m starting to realize how much time is wasted (by me) online and am kind of disgusted by it. 

So, today finds me back to blogging, with some kind of interesting things to talk about, maybe, but with a renewed perspective on where I put my precious energy. (really, there’s not a whole lot of it to go around)

On that note, here’s one of the things I love about the internet: being able to link to Obama’s Father’s Day letter in Parade magazine (see here). No matter what side of the political spectrum you’re on, I think it speaks directly to what we need from the men in our lives, both as parents and as daughters (and sons). I envision quoting this speech, particularly the parts about non-violence, in presentations for years to come.

What’s one thing I can’t live without every summer?

A great book to read at the beach. (or, in my case, at the swimming pool in the backyard) My criteria? Nothing too heavy, but it has to be well-written and worth reading.

Hollywood Car Wash by Lori Culwell fits that perfectly! It’s the story of Amy Specer, your average drama student from the midwest who becomes an overnight sensation when she is cast as the lead in a night-time drama. The reader gets swept along with Amy as her “handlers” change her name and her face… do all the free clothes make it ok? For awhile, Amy thinks so… she’s helping her mom pay off medical bills from her dad’s long illness. This is a great story about how far people will go to make it in Hollywood, and what it takes to step off the crazy train.

As I was reading this book, I kept asking myself if it was based on a real person - the author is definitely a Hollywood insider and there’s enough celebrity gossip dropped in to make the book nice and juicy. There IS a rumor circulating that the Amy Spencer character is based on Katie Holmes (Amy’s breakout show IS similar to Dawson’s Creek… and her fake boyfriend is VERY Tom Cruise-ish…). True or not, I loved this book!

Another cool sidenote - the author, Lori Culwell, has written for Salon.com and has also published a tech book about websites. Plus, Hollywood Car Wash was originally self-published. How cool is that?

The awesome publishers at Touchstone have given me THREE copies to share with you! To enter, just leave a comment with your favorite summer read.

Want extra entries? Blog this giveaway and leave me the link.

Giveaway ends at midnight, Monday, June (how is that possible???) 1.

Happy reading, mamas!

(ps. enter my other giveaway here!)