mamasaysmine

I am a firm believer in the simple fact that if you go to someone’s wedding, you bring a gift.

If you’re invited to the wedding and don’t go, you get to pick.  (I always send a gift, personally.  If I ever thought someone had invited me because they were “fishing” for a gift, I would seriously rethink that relationship.)

If you’ve ever gotten married, you know that weddings are expensive, even when you do it on the cheap.  Not only that, but people often have a limited number of guests they can invite, so the simple fact that you “made the cut” is worthy of a little token of your appreciation, I think.

Now, here’s the kicker.

For the wedding I’m headed off to next week?  Not bringing a gift.

First, my friends have specifically asked all of us who are traveling to the wedding NOT to give a gift (the gift of our presence meaning more than any presents we could give, etc.).

Second, I’m flying out early to help with preparations, so I have kind of convinced myself that that’s kind of a gift.

Third, these friends have lived together for years, and on their own for years before that. They already have their household set up and have clearly stated that they don’t want more “stuff.”

While this is a little painful for my Ms. Manners side, I think it’s incredibly classy on my friends’ part. We’re all a group of young families, so the cost of travel is significant, and they realize that.

HOWEVER, unless you have friends who have asked you not to bring a gift, SEND SOMETHING. (don’t bring it to the wedding. Gifts get stolen all the time, cards get separated from packages and the bride and groom have to haul everything around when they have more important things to deal with. Send a gift before or after the wedding.)

and, p.s. FROM THE REGISTRY.

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